Funny Life Thoughts - Funny Life Words

May you find inspiration in these Funny Life thoughts and quotes from my large Daily Inspiration library of inspiring quotes and inspirational words.

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg

Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man
take which course he will,
he will be sure to repent.
- Socrates

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle

A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Donkey, you HAVE the right to remain silent.
What you lack, is the capacity.
- said by Shrek in the movie Shrek 2

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash

I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

The trouble with having an open mind, of course,
is that people will insist on coming along
and trying to put things in it.
- Terry Pratchett

I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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