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A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
by Erma Bombeck

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Related topics: Funny Friendship Relationship

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

When you are alone you are not alone,
you are simply lonely -
and there is a tremendous difference
between loneliness and aloneness.
When you are lonely you are thinking of the other,
you are missing the other.
Loneliness is a negative state.
You are feeling that it would have been
better if the other were there -
your friend, your wife, your mother,
your beloved, your husband.
It would have been good if the other
were there, but the other is not.
Loneliness is absence of the other.
Aloneness is the presence of oneself.
Aloneness is very positive.
It is a presence, overflowing presence.
You are so full of presence
that you can fill the whole universe
with your presence and there is no need for anybody.
- Osho

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

You only meet your once in a lifetime friend ...
once in a lifetime.
- Little Rascals

Walking with a friend in the dark is better
than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller

A true friend is the one who
walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

Better to be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,
nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship;
it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one
when he discovers that someone else believes in him
and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We can never replace a friend.
When a man is fortunate enough to have several,
he finds they are all different.
No one has a double in friendship.
- Johann Schiller

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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